HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!!!

I still wanna kill myself... whatever... I think I always will. It's only been like 8 years now. Ughh... whatever. I'm still here.


It's 2am. I didn't get a single 'happy new year' text or phone call. Wow. YAY FOR FRIENDS!!! God... even drunk people don't like me now. Fuck it.


And I dunno if any of you have seen recent pictures of Snooki, who is fucking GORGEOUS as all hell. But she's superrrr tiny now... like even tinier than she was. She's seriously the most adorable thing ever!! 

Ugh, can I just be you??

Well... whatever. I'll never be as pretty or skinny as her. I really want to though...

Anyway... here's some Gerard Way stuff so I can try to feel less suicidal...

Thank you for inspiring me... everyday of my life... for helping me to realize (even though I may not see it right now) that life might just be worth living... and thank you for accepting me as I am, even when I can't stand myself. Thank you for helping me to think twice before cutting or poisoning myself or overdosing... thank you for being the voice of reason blasting through my speakers when I almost drive off a cliff or intentionally crash my car... thank you for being there when I have no one else.

What?

So tonight I got a, "stop getting skinny, asshole!" from one of my friends... 


Part of me... is like... what? I'm still losing weight?!? Cool! That's just what I want!!


And the other part of me is like... I haven't lost any more in the last few weeks... actually, I probably gained... I'm having a really bad body day... I feel so gross and disgusting...


I really am having a bad body day though... I just can't stand the fact that I might not am probably not seeing what other people are seeing at all... but I know I'm not skinny... I STILL can't even get into one jean size down... so yeah... these ones might be baggy... but I can't get my FAT ASS into anything else!!!


I want to cry- but of course nothing is fucking coming out. How do you make yourself cry?!? Oh my god.... fuck my life.