I still think about death, dying, suicide. I still have a plan of how it would be done. But I don't think about it nearly as much now as I used to. It doesn't consume my every thought. I no longer spend my money on the supplies I may need to go through with it.Things are different now. There are good parts of life. Good parts that I can now notice... maybe not a lot... but I'm just getting started. Everything has changed. My whole world has flipped upside down the moment I took that very first breath. The moment I realized I'm alive... and that life can be good.
The same can be true for you. I know it seems like a lie now... I know it did to me, but just look at where I'm sitting now. Sitting at my internship. Helping kids everyday. Finding the beauty where others can only see ugly. Alive. You can have this too. You just have to hang in there and be strong... because believe me... all of this is WAY worth it.
Don't give up.
Please.
I find it ironic that the time you posted this is also my birthday (8/19). I wish I believed this. I wish I believed you. Maybe one day..
ReplyDelete