Morning my beauties :)

Woke up at 7am... I have a 9am class... looked out the window, and my exact thoughts were "HELL NO!" Fucking snow, haha. So, now it's almost 10... I'm sitting in my PJs munching on a few whole grain goldfishies... all I plan to have today. I have 2 dance classes, 2 hours of pilates, company warmup, and dress rehearsal. I should shower. 


THIS MADE MY MORNING. Absolute BEST way to start the day. I recorded part of it on my phone and sent it out to a few of my friends. I am going to watch this every morning. I have it on repeat now. Oh my god! Amazing. Why in the hell have I never seen this before?!?



I kind of want to oil myself up put on a bikini and dance now. And if I was skinny, I'd already be ALL OVER that shit! Haha, wow... I'm a freak :) I don't care. I kind of love me. Well, who I can be. Damn, I'm in a good mood. See what hot guys that can move their bodies can do to a person?


I won't be done until 11 the earliest but probably closer to midnight... later actually. Ouch. I do really need to stop skipping classes though. But damn this snow! Fuck that.


I'm in a decent mood, sorry for my potty mouth. What can I say? I curse on a daily basis, sometimes like a sailor. People think it's funny sometimes the things that come out of my mouth... apparently I'm the quiet, innocent one. Fuck that. Wow, that's like my thing... I just realized how much I say that. I should really stop. I always hold it in around kids though, I'm real good about that. 


So how is everyone's morning going? I think I can start mine off with a little more inspiration... not that the video wasn't inspiration enough!

~~

Update - So I just got out of my first dance class for the day. I realized that I like not being perfect. I mean, I guess I kinda new that already because when my life was 'perfect' to me, there were still things wrong but I was okay with them which is why I was happier. But I was in class and my hair was a mess and I was kind of a mess but I loved it. It is an unbrushed mess on the top of my head! I loved having my hair in my face and all over the place... not in a perfect ponytail but having bumps... not 100% straight but with some curls here and there from the snow wetting it. I was LOVING it! Wow. Today is pretty decent. I like this. I mean, I'm know I'm still not happy... but today I kind of am. Today I'm dealing a little better, accepting a little more... today I'm trying to just be me, whoever that is .

Also, I did have a protein bar after modern and before hip hop, pilates, warm-up/dress rehearsal.

Never. Again.

Wow, so I don't even know where to start. I had three friends from home come visit me last night, I hadn't eaten a single thing all day. I got so so so wasted, throwing up, passed out, the whole nine yards. I wasn't hung over at all when I woke up, I was still a little drunk for a while though but other than that I was fine. I didn't even have coffee just a little coke zero for the caffeine headache. I also took 2 hydroxycut maxs, 1 green tea triple fat burner, and 2 expel... 


Needless to say, all of that on an empty stomach, I wasn't doin too hot. Luckily I got a ride to rehearsal, yes, I now had to dance... I seriously thought I was going to pass out or die or something. My sugar was so so low, I was nauseous, dizzy, shaking like crazy. It was bad. One of the girls is hypoglycemic so she always has snacks on her. She gave me a little baggy of baked goldfish and I had about 20 before rehearsal, very slowly... and then after rehearsal I made myself finish the baggy. It took me about 2 hours to do that. I just finished them off.


I have two more friends coming to visit me tonight... I will NOT let myself be that drunk again. Ugh, seriously, I was such a mess. I hate hate hate being like that. And I woke up knowing I should eat something but then saw pictures of myself and totally freaked. Everyone was offering to buy me food and I was just like 'no it's fine this happens from time to time'. No more pills today... maybe just some... no... I really shouldn't risk it. I have rehearsal for my piece in about an hour or so. I've just been hanging out in the theatre for the time in between.


I'm not sure what else to say right now. I'm alive though... so that's a plus. I really didn't think I was gonna make it this morning.