Finding the beauty where there's only ugly.

I loved seeing all of the positive comments on my last post and I love to hear if I made you smile and such :) 


Sooo here's what I'm thinking of doing, and I have Unbeautiful to thank in part for this because of her new take on being positive in posts. So I will post about whatever it is I wanted to post about, good or bad... but at the end I will always try to leave something a little inspirational, whether it be through images, music, or whatever. I know I already have some lengthy posts so this will be adding a whole other layer to them, but I like the idea of always ending on a positive note.


Now, I can not guarantee that this will always happen, but I'm gonna try :)


So anyway, the boy text me Saturday night to tell me he missed me. That was basically as far as the conversation ever went. I don't really know what to make of this whole situation anymore.

J is finally talking to me again, about real things, which is good because she needs someone. It's not okay to hold all of that in all the time and keep so many secrets. I really do wish she wasn't going through what she's going through but it's relieving to know she can still come to me about important issues.


I'm still lovin' my new piercing! Having some trouble as far as cleaning it just because I can't seem to get all the way around it because I apparently have small ears (fun fact: the piercing finally made me realize that I don't have the huge ears I always thought I have). Anyone know a lot about piercings or have their rook pierced that has any advice on that? 


The weather is beginning to be gorgeous! Yay! I love it! I will try to spend some more time outside as it begins to get nicer out. I could use a storm right about now, but I won't complain about it being nice out :)


I also wanted to go tanning today, but I don't know how long I should wait with the piercing, and it's kind of an odd spot to cover up so I'm not sure how to just cover my ear when I go... but I haven't gone since last Monday and I'm really feeling the affects of it. I won't be able to go again now until Friday anyway, hopefully my color doesn't fade too too much by then and my ear is healed enough. I know people say it's bad for you and whatever but it just makes me feel better. It is a relaxing process for me and I also just feel like I look better with a tan, therefore making me feel just a little bit better overall. Anything to boost me mood a little, and I will do it. I still don't feel tan at all even though everyone keeps telling me I am, I'm used to being very dark so I still feel pale... but this is just a start.


I really feel as though I'm rambling now as I wait to leave for my dance class, which I could probably get ready for now, but I hope you enjoy more of the pictures. I like the visuals, I think they make things more interesting and pleasing to look at. Too many words all the time can be somewhat stressful :)

Snow snow snow...

I just walked back to my apartment from dress rehearsal in this god awful weather. Oh man. Interesting walk though. I'm not gonna say much right now, I'll update this post later cause I really wanna dance right now and choreograph. Anyway, another amazing video. This one kinda makes me forget about C (a little bit)... hot men and the lyrics... it's all good :) I am IN LOVE with 57 seconds <3

Okay, so it's morning now... we had a 2 hour delay, not that I was planning on going to my 9:30am class anyway. So I have a dance class 3:30-5 and then call for the show is at 6pm. I'll just hang out there. 

Oy, and I have a pimple on the inside of my nose... oh. my. god. Hurts like a BITCH! Even just moving my nose, like if I wiggle it... ow!


I'm happy I didn't get sick (yet) I'm gonna take some more vitamin C, I was popping them last night when I got back. Walking back was rough. It was me and one of the other dance majors, P. Wow, well.. I got brain freeze, almost fell, got stuck in the snow (this always happens though), we were in the middle of the street and had no idea, then the snow was up past my knees so we HAD to walk in the tire tracks in the street because nothing was plowed. And the snow hurt too! We just screamed and made awkward noises the whole way back. I can't really see what it looks like out now cause I have a view of a brick wall and that's it. Kind of sucks, but I love everything else about my apartment.


I think I'm gonna stay here next year too... Yeah, I am. 


Oh and Friday night, C sent me a picture of his daughter... she's a cutie. I also talked to the guy that did my tattoo to see if he'd be around next weekend for my next one and he was like "for u of course babe" and then he sent a heart. I love this guy! I love bein called babe, and cutie, which he has also said to me. I would so much rather be the cute, adorable girl than be hot or sexy. Maybe on night if I'm going out I wouldn't mind hot or sexy... but in general... I like to be cute. I think that I have a cute personality to go with it. Plus I'm a goofball... and I love being a goofball. I love when guys are goofy too (hence why I love 57second in the video). 


I don't have much to say, just a little rambling. It's all good... things are going alright.I just woke up, so yeah. I should try to get some tanning in today but I really don't wanna use my own money because all I have is like $30 and I need more than that for my tattoo... I'm thinking like, $60? Damn... gotta double that shit. I was counting on at least getting paid for some of the pilates classes I'm teaching but I won't get paid right away. Oy. That was gonna be my tanning money ($15 a class... this term I would only get paid for one of my two classes so $15 a week). Damn.


Hope you're all well!

Morning my beauties :)

Woke up at 7am... I have a 9am class... looked out the window, and my exact thoughts were "HELL NO!" Fucking snow, haha. So, now it's almost 10... I'm sitting in my PJs munching on a few whole grain goldfishies... all I plan to have today. I have 2 dance classes, 2 hours of pilates, company warmup, and dress rehearsal. I should shower. 


THIS MADE MY MORNING. Absolute BEST way to start the day. I recorded part of it on my phone and sent it out to a few of my friends. I am going to watch this every morning. I have it on repeat now. Oh my god! Amazing. Why in the hell have I never seen this before?!?



I kind of want to oil myself up put on a bikini and dance now. And if I was skinny, I'd already be ALL OVER that shit! Haha, wow... I'm a freak :) I don't care. I kind of love me. Well, who I can be. Damn, I'm in a good mood. See what hot guys that can move their bodies can do to a person?


I won't be done until 11 the earliest but probably closer to midnight... later actually. Ouch. I do really need to stop skipping classes though. But damn this snow! Fuck that.


I'm in a decent mood, sorry for my potty mouth. What can I say? I curse on a daily basis, sometimes like a sailor. People think it's funny sometimes the things that come out of my mouth... apparently I'm the quiet, innocent one. Fuck that. Wow, that's like my thing... I just realized how much I say that. I should really stop. I always hold it in around kids though, I'm real good about that. 


So how is everyone's morning going? I think I can start mine off with a little more inspiration... not that the video wasn't inspiration enough!

~~

Update - So I just got out of my first dance class for the day. I realized that I like not being perfect. I mean, I guess I kinda new that already because when my life was 'perfect' to me, there were still things wrong but I was okay with them which is why I was happier. But I was in class and my hair was a mess and I was kind of a mess but I loved it. It is an unbrushed mess on the top of my head! I loved having my hair in my face and all over the place... not in a perfect ponytail but having bumps... not 100% straight but with some curls here and there from the snow wetting it. I was LOVING it! Wow. Today is pretty decent. I like this. I mean, I'm know I'm still not happy... but today I kind of am. Today I'm dealing a little better, accepting a little more... today I'm trying to just be me, whoever that is .

Also, I did have a protein bar after modern and before hip hop, pilates, warm-up/dress rehearsal.