Snow snow snow...

I just walked back to my apartment from dress rehearsal in this god awful weather. Oh man. Interesting walk though. I'm not gonna say much right now, I'll update this post later cause I really wanna dance right now and choreograph. Anyway, another amazing video. This one kinda makes me forget about C (a little bit)... hot men and the lyrics... it's all good :) I am IN LOVE with 57 seconds <3

Okay, so it's morning now... we had a 2 hour delay, not that I was planning on going to my 9:30am class anyway. So I have a dance class 3:30-5 and then call for the show is at 6pm. I'll just hang out there. 

Oy, and I have a pimple on the inside of my nose... oh. my. god. Hurts like a BITCH! Even just moving my nose, like if I wiggle it... ow!


I'm happy I didn't get sick (yet) I'm gonna take some more vitamin C, I was popping them last night when I got back. Walking back was rough. It was me and one of the other dance majors, P. Wow, well.. I got brain freeze, almost fell, got stuck in the snow (this always happens though), we were in the middle of the street and had no idea, then the snow was up past my knees so we HAD to walk in the tire tracks in the street because nothing was plowed. And the snow hurt too! We just screamed and made awkward noises the whole way back. I can't really see what it looks like out now cause I have a view of a brick wall and that's it. Kind of sucks, but I love everything else about my apartment.


I think I'm gonna stay here next year too... Yeah, I am. 


Oh and Friday night, C sent me a picture of his daughter... she's a cutie. I also talked to the guy that did my tattoo to see if he'd be around next weekend for my next one and he was like "for u of course babe" and then he sent a heart. I love this guy! I love bein called babe, and cutie, which he has also said to me. I would so much rather be the cute, adorable girl than be hot or sexy. Maybe on night if I'm going out I wouldn't mind hot or sexy... but in general... I like to be cute. I think that I have a cute personality to go with it. Plus I'm a goofball... and I love being a goofball. I love when guys are goofy too (hence why I love 57second in the video). 


I don't have much to say, just a little rambling. It's all good... things are going alright.I just woke up, so yeah. I should try to get some tanning in today but I really don't wanna use my own money because all I have is like $30 and I need more than that for my tattoo... I'm thinking like, $60? Damn... gotta double that shit. I was counting on at least getting paid for some of the pilates classes I'm teaching but I won't get paid right away. Oy. That was gonna be my tanning money ($15 a class... this term I would only get paid for one of my two classes so $15 a week). Damn.


Hope you're all well!

Morning my beauties :)

Woke up at 7am... I have a 9am class... looked out the window, and my exact thoughts were "HELL NO!" Fucking snow, haha. So, now it's almost 10... I'm sitting in my PJs munching on a few whole grain goldfishies... all I plan to have today. I have 2 dance classes, 2 hours of pilates, company warmup, and dress rehearsal. I should shower. 


THIS MADE MY MORNING. Absolute BEST way to start the day. I recorded part of it on my phone and sent it out to a few of my friends. I am going to watch this every morning. I have it on repeat now. Oh my god! Amazing. Why in the hell have I never seen this before?!?



I kind of want to oil myself up put on a bikini and dance now. And if I was skinny, I'd already be ALL OVER that shit! Haha, wow... I'm a freak :) I don't care. I kind of love me. Well, who I can be. Damn, I'm in a good mood. See what hot guys that can move their bodies can do to a person?


I won't be done until 11 the earliest but probably closer to midnight... later actually. Ouch. I do really need to stop skipping classes though. But damn this snow! Fuck that.


I'm in a decent mood, sorry for my potty mouth. What can I say? I curse on a daily basis, sometimes like a sailor. People think it's funny sometimes the things that come out of my mouth... apparently I'm the quiet, innocent one. Fuck that. Wow, that's like my thing... I just realized how much I say that. I should really stop. I always hold it in around kids though, I'm real good about that. 


So how is everyone's morning going? I think I can start mine off with a little more inspiration... not that the video wasn't inspiration enough!

~~

Update - So I just got out of my first dance class for the day. I realized that I like not being perfect. I mean, I guess I kinda new that already because when my life was 'perfect' to me, there were still things wrong but I was okay with them which is why I was happier. But I was in class and my hair was a mess and I was kind of a mess but I loved it. It is an unbrushed mess on the top of my head! I loved having my hair in my face and all over the place... not in a perfect ponytail but having bumps... not 100% straight but with some curls here and there from the snow wetting it. I was LOVING it! Wow. Today is pretty decent. I like this. I mean, I'm know I'm still not happy... but today I kind of am. Today I'm dealing a little better, accepting a little more... today I'm trying to just be me, whoever that is .

Also, I did have a protein bar after modern and before hip hop, pilates, warm-up/dress rehearsal.

No Words :)

Youtube....

So I'm probably going to put my link up for my youtube for you guys... or just start putting pictures up here. I don't like the idea of pictures of me being around the things that I say... just in case, but oh well. I might just delete my youtube account and put my videos up here because I can't make that private so most of my videos are unlisted. I try to make happy and inspirational videos but then with that comes with all of the depressing ones. Just like this blog. I try to be upbeat, but it's just been so difficult lately. I apologize for that, really. I do want to share my videos with you guys though because I make a lot of them. I don't save them because they take up space and if anyone else is ever on my computer... yeahh, haha. So I just upload them to youtube. Yes, all of the videos I have posted on here were made by me. I have some in random entries and I also have videos some of my pages. The Alexz Johnson one isn't mine, I just wanted to share the song with you guys. And the lyric videos on my songs aren't mine. Although the song video on that page is, and I also mixed that song mash-up or whatever myself. 


Yeahh, so anyway, my youtube account is Nikki94xx. If you go to my channel you can see most of the videos and then anything with me actually is it should be unlisted. A lot of my videos are EXTREMELY triggering. Please be careful. You can tell by the thumbnails/titles which one's are happy and which ones may not be so happy. Some of them say **TRIGGERING** in the description but I gave up on that and now just have a general warning about all of my videos possibly being triggering.



I use a lot of older pictures and a lot of my videos are about when I was at my lowest weight... but this one is actually pretty damn current... like, really current. And it stays that way for most of it. It's pictures from before my tattoo but after my pink hair so a lot of holiday season pictures. I don't actually think I have any really old ones in here but that's fine. I started this one a while ago and just did the finishing touches tonight.


I'm in a decent mood considering my week and the pain that I'm currently in. I think I'm just kinda numb mentally though which is really why I'm okay or whatever. I've been exhausted lately, like really really tired. So I have to be up and at the recording studio by 8am to get some stuff recorded for my dance piece... then I really wanted to go to the zumba party at the gym from 10:30-12 but I doubt that'll happen. We'll see how I'm doing sleepynesswise. Yes, I make up my own words. 


Then I have rehearsal 1-2, 2-3, 3-4. We always run late, which could be a problem... My 1-2 is a dance that I am in, we are rehearsing on the stage. Then 2-3 I have my piece in the studio, those rehearsals will be on time. If we're running over I'll be late for my own rehearsal and it's our last one, our only one with the new text recording that we'll be doing that morning, and we have a lot a lot to get done. I need to clean the dance and talk about emotion and oh my god it's really a lot. I also have rehearsal Sunday 1-2 and 3-4. Then tech is on Monday and Tuesday, dress rehearsal on Wednsday, and we open on Thursday. Our show is 3 nights (Thurs, Fri, Sat) but the freshman show (that my piece is in) has dress rehearsal on Friday afternoon and then is on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. I have to be there for all of them. 


Five shows. 
One weekend. 
Ouch.


Okay, I'm just rambling now :)