HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!!!

I still wanna kill myself... whatever... I think I always will. It's only been like 8 years now. Ughh... whatever. I'm still here.


It's 2am. I didn't get a single 'happy new year' text or phone call. Wow. YAY FOR FRIENDS!!! God... even drunk people don't like me now. Fuck it.


And I dunno if any of you have seen recent pictures of Snooki, who is fucking GORGEOUS as all hell. But she's superrrr tiny now... like even tinier than she was. She's seriously the most adorable thing ever!! 

Ugh, can I just be you??

Well... whatever. I'll never be as pretty or skinny as her. I really want to though...

Anyway... here's some Gerard Way stuff so I can try to feel less suicidal...

Thank you for inspiring me... everyday of my life... for helping me to realize (even though I may not see it right now) that life might just be worth living... and thank you for accepting me as I am, even when I can't stand myself. Thank you for helping me to think twice before cutting or poisoning myself or overdosing... thank you for being the voice of reason blasting through my speakers when I almost drive off a cliff or intentionally crash my car... thank you for being there when I have no one else.

Bad day??

Click here.

"Now is right on time."

Oh, hey summer!!

                                      

Morning Inspiration?

I have a few things to tell you guys that I neglected in my last post because of the piercing excitement. I'll get around to them tomorrow afternoon/night. I'm going to make this post and set it so it gets posted first thing in the morning just because who doesn't love happy things every once in a while? 

Maria Mena is my hero.

Once I found this song I also sent it to J who was having a rough day, and not to be mean, but kind of getting on my nerves. I won't go into it now since I have class soon but she told me I had the best timing with sending her this and is now obsessed with the song. She had it on loop all night, wrote the lyrics in a journal, and put the lyrics up as her facebook status. 


I told her from this point on that whenever she's having a bad day I will just quote this song... which I did a little of last night. I also made a mix with it :)

Morning my beauties :)

Woke up at 7am... I have a 9am class... looked out the window, and my exact thoughts were "HELL NO!" Fucking snow, haha. So, now it's almost 10... I'm sitting in my PJs munching on a few whole grain goldfishies... all I plan to have today. I have 2 dance classes, 2 hours of pilates, company warmup, and dress rehearsal. I should shower. 


THIS MADE MY MORNING. Absolute BEST way to start the day. I recorded part of it on my phone and sent it out to a few of my friends. I am going to watch this every morning. I have it on repeat now. Oh my god! Amazing. Why in the hell have I never seen this before?!?



I kind of want to oil myself up put on a bikini and dance now. And if I was skinny, I'd already be ALL OVER that shit! Haha, wow... I'm a freak :) I don't care. I kind of love me. Well, who I can be. Damn, I'm in a good mood. See what hot guys that can move their bodies can do to a person?


I won't be done until 11 the earliest but probably closer to midnight... later actually. Ouch. I do really need to stop skipping classes though. But damn this snow! Fuck that.


I'm in a decent mood, sorry for my potty mouth. What can I say? I curse on a daily basis, sometimes like a sailor. People think it's funny sometimes the things that come out of my mouth... apparently I'm the quiet, innocent one. Fuck that. Wow, that's like my thing... I just realized how much I say that. I should really stop. I always hold it in around kids though, I'm real good about that. 


So how is everyone's morning going? I think I can start mine off with a little more inspiration... not that the video wasn't inspiration enough!

~~

Update - So I just got out of my first dance class for the day. I realized that I like not being perfect. I mean, I guess I kinda new that already because when my life was 'perfect' to me, there were still things wrong but I was okay with them which is why I was happier. But I was in class and my hair was a mess and I was kind of a mess but I loved it. It is an unbrushed mess on the top of my head! I loved having my hair in my face and all over the place... not in a perfect ponytail but having bumps... not 100% straight but with some curls here and there from the snow wetting it. I was LOVING it! Wow. Today is pretty decent. I like this. I mean, I'm know I'm still not happy... but today I kind of am. Today I'm dealing a little better, accepting a little more... today I'm trying to just be me, whoever that is .

Also, I did have a protein bar after modern and before hip hop, pilates, warm-up/dress rehearsal.

No Words :)

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing

can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity

to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel

that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything

and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,

and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others

as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past

and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times

and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself

that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,

not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side

so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

By Christian D. Larson