Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Oy vey....

So... do you guys remember C? And that whole situation?? Well.... he sent me a facebook IM yesterday and said he had a surprise for me. Now- I'm thinkin' he's gonna be around the area where school is for a weekend or coulpe weeks or whatever....


No.


He's moving back! Like... oh my god! Now- he's still a few states away from either home for me or school.... but he's on the same coast, in the same time zone!


He's coming back in like 2 weeks. And his birthday is coming up.... so he wants to go celebrate his 21st and he asked if I could go. So I guess I'm seeing him in 3 weeks. Like- just when I've accepted the fact that I'll never see him again.


So... as usual, he asks me if I'm seeing anyone and my response was something along the lines of "haha, no." At one point he said he knows I'm crazy, and that's why he likes me. He also said I'm cool and interesting and that's why he hasn't forgotten about me. He said I intrigue him. He asked why I think I'm so crazy and I never really gave him a straight answer- somehow that turned into him saying "beauty comes with a price" and that it's a curse which he was sure I knew- so I told him I would just take his word for it. He said I didn't have to, that I already know.... and I just responded "if you say so". And then he says "you don't have to think you're beautiful, I'll just do it for you". Like... why does he say shit like this to me?!? I thought I was finally over this whole situation and now he says sweet things like that and he's moving back and he wants to see me!! Oh my god!!


And I know that he's the kind of guy that it honestly doesn't matter what my weight is... but just knowing that he's expecting me to be smaller because I was tiny the last time he saw me and now I'm at least 30-40 or possibly much, much more than that is just.... I can't. I'm like freaking out. I know he won't care. I hope he won't care. I don't think he will... but I've gained so much weight since I've last seen him. 


I dunno. I have to go to class... and auditions are tonight. Mehh... okay. Bye  

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