Not every girl can do that shit.

Everything's better with a tan.


Really, it is. In my opinion at least. Mine is slowly beginning to show. 


And I've been thinking about which piercing to get... I think I want a rook. Anyone have that done? That could possibly tell me on a scale of 1-10 how much it's going to make me cry? Seriously though, if you know anything about it let me know!



First off, I should apologize for the overload of posts. I just got back at school and have no one to talk to about anything, except for you guys. I'm still working on getting J to turn around but even when she does, it never will be and never has been the same since our first fight. She doesn't know everything, never has, never will. 


So really, the main reason for this post was the boy drama. Yeah, I dunno... I wish I could make this available just to be followers but what the hell.

I'm putting a disclaimer on this post from hear on out saying it's adult content. Personally, I don't think I went too overboard, but I just want to put that out there.

So here's what I don't get about guys. First of all, they're all douchbags. I mean, I know a few who aren't... well... like two... C and S. Both very, very far away. And one of course is like, my best friend. So anyway, guys just want sex. Whatever. That's fine with me. But if all you wanna do is fuck around then I'd rather you straight up be an asshole to my face. Don't go bein' all nice and spending the rest of the night talking to me about anything and everything... literally everything. We already had sex, you got what you wanted. So go home. Don't continue being nice to me. Asshole. 


But here's the thing. I'm more pissed at myself for letting my guard down. I NEVER let my guard down. It takes people years to never to get to know the real me. Fuck that. I let myself think he was different than other guys. That he wasn't one of those guys who just wants to fuck a different girl every night. That I wasn't gonna be just another number yet again. If you're just lookin' for a fuck buddy, that's cool... but don't lead me on. Don't call/text me and tell me you miss me all the time. Don't say you wanna see me again if you don't. I hate liars. 


We fucked. It's cool. No big. But then nothing. Spent the whole night talking, AFTER having sex... when he didn't need to prove anything to me or try to impress me... and then nothing. No text, no call. Nothing. It's been...like... 5 days or something. That's cool. What the fuck? Asshole. All I have to say at this point is you better be glad I'm flexible cause not every girl can do that shit.


The worst part. If he ever does talk to me again about whatever... is I still kinda like him and think other than the whole not getting in touch with me thing that he's a really great guy. I thought we actually connected. I thought there was something there. I opened up to him. I don't even know why. And he did with me too.


Just another reason not to believe my second tattoo. Apparently I'm only good for one thing. Whatever. Just gives me an excuse to fuck around. I know I act like a hard ass around people and pretend nothing ever gets to me, but you guys see the other side of it. I'm not really sad about this, I'm just pissed at the situation. But then again I tend to take my sadness out as anger... so maybe I am sad? I don't even know. It's coming out at anger. That's what I know.


I am human. I do have a soft side. 
So fuck you.