Sunday, March 20, 2011

Good Morning!!

So I basically have insomnia most of the time. I have such a hard time falling asleep/staying asleep. I get like 2-4 hours a night, 6 if I'm lucky. Any more than 6 I feel like I've overslept and will be tired. But then... every couple of months there is one week where I go into what I call coma mode. That's where I currently am.

It does usually happen when I'm home which is perfect because I don't have to worry about missing classes and such. But I basically just sleep 24/7. I don't mind it so much, I know that I need to catch up.

So yesterday, I went to the Borders by me because they are going out of business. Everything is on sale so I got a bunch of stuff. I got two books on autism and working with kids living with autism, a pilates book with photos of Joseph Pilates himself, Whispers: The Voices of Paranoia (so so interesting so far), and a few calorie counter/protein counter pocket books. 

I'm such a dork sometimes, Whispers is actually pretty scientific and talks a lot about parts of the brain and chemicals in the brain... I swear if I was smarter I would take more neuropsychology classes. It's so interesting to me.

Which reminds me! I also got GED for Dummies so I can start studying and make sure I get into the graduate school I want since I really don't want to continue at the school I'm currently at even though they're holding a spot for me. So anyway I get it and show my dad I have it so I can start studying and everyone knows I need a lot of help with it so it's just funny that it's the one for dummies. What's even funnier? I need to study for the GRE... I'm already done with high school there's no reason to take the GEDs. And... since the store is going out of business, I can't return it. Oops! 

I'll go back today and pick up the right one... or tomorrow. I want to look at more book books, to like relax and read on my longish weekends and days off in the nice warm weather. I had an arm full of books after going through the health/medical and psychology sections that I didn't even want to be bothered with looking around the rest of the store.

I miss being home. It just reminds me of high school. I mean... I hated high school all except for dance. But just the small of the house and waking up walking down the stairs for my coffee... there are things from my past I want back, and I just feel so much closer to them here. I feel  more connected to them. I feel more in control. I don't think I ever knew I had such a problem with change until I went to college.

And most times when I'm home, I love it, but try to be out of the house as much as possible. Not so much this week. I don't mind being here. At night though I wish I had something to do. But it's fine. Maybe I'll make a fire in the backward one night. It's not like I ever went anywhere other than dance, dance competitions, or dance workshops when I was in highschool. I didn't hang out with any "friends". Occasionally on the weekends with J but that's about it. I spent a lot of time with my parents. I kind of had those people, and this is still the case, where we're friends in school but then I have no one to hang out with outside of class and stuff. It's whatever at this point. 

I wouldn't change the fact that I was always dancing in highschool for anything. Waking up at 4am to shower, do my hair and makeup, and drive to a competition an hour or so away. Oh my god. I loved the early morning ones! It would still be dark out, no one on the road. And then we wouldn't even leave until 11pm to come home. I miss competing. I really do. I miss rehearing for competition. I'm going to stop there. I miss dance and my dance studio... that's all. Everyone knows that already. 

And this post turned out longer than I expected. I'm going to have a few more sips of coffee, get a quick work out in, and jump in the shower. 

In the middle of putting in pictures... my 2 year old cousin's looking for me... gotta run! 

1 comment:

  1. Insomnia majorly sucks :( I feel your pain.
    Sounds like you had some good buys from the book store :).
    Maybe get back into dance sometime?