Okay... so about that whole bitch thing. Monday night. Oh boy...
I still feel so so bad about this =/
Okay, so I was home this weekend and managed not to call the boy!! Yay, I did so well, even on Saturday night when I had nothing to do. But then Sunday after getting back to school I was hanging out with my ex and left there in not the best of moods... so I text the boy. Anyway, we kept talking all the next day and next thing I know he's coming down to see me.
First it was like 8:30, so I figured I would hang out after dance and then go get him from the train station... but it got changed to 9:30-10pm by the time I got out. So... I wanted a drink. I didn't really wanna see him. I couldn't believe I said he could come down... but unfortunately for him, I was on my period.
He was only coming for sex (in my mind) and I could've easily told him I was on my period before he came down but I decided to wait until he was here. Almost as a test. As if that wasn't bad enough...
So after dance I went to a friends to steal his alcohol and cologne. I ended up drunk and high. So I look at my phone and the boy sent a text saying he would be in at 9:30... it was 9:27. So I walked down to the train station drunk and high to pick him up.
We got back to my place and I just had this really bad feeling. I felt like he was lying to me, I was uncomfortable, I just didn't want him there. I had that feeling like something bad was going to happen. So to make it go away, I kept drinking... I text my ex and asked him to keep his phone nearby that night in case I called.
Long story short, I more or less kicked him out. I offered to walk him to the train but he wouldn't let me. He left here around 11:30pm and got home at like 7am. Whoops. Dick move. I know.
He text me when he got home and then he said "have a good day", which I'm taking more as a "fuck you. have a good life." Anyway, I tried to say sorry that night but he was pissed off. I feel like I should send him a text and apologize again but I also feel like I should just let it go and just forget about him.
I think I was just scared.
I dunno what to do.
I did text him a half asleep"sorry" and I also was just talking to S and told him about that night... he said that it's scary and I'm too impulsive =(