Friday, May 13, 2011

Unleash the bitch!

Okay... so about that whole bitch thing. Monday night. Oh boy... 

I still feel so so bad about this =/

Okay, so I was home this weekend and managed not to call the boy!! Yay, I did so well, even on Saturday night when I had nothing to do. But then Sunday after getting back to school I was hanging out with my ex and left there in not the best of moods... so I text the boy. Anyway, we kept talking all the next day and next thing I know he's coming down to see me.

First it was like 8:30, so I figured I would hang out after dance and then go get him from the train station... but it got changed to 9:30-10pm by the time I got out. So... I wanted a drink. I didn't really wanna see him. I couldn't believe I said he could come down... but unfortunately for him, I was on my period. 

He was only coming for sex (in my mind) and I could've easily told him I was on my period before he came down but I decided to wait until he was here. Almost as a test. As if that wasn't bad enough...

So after dance I went to a friends to steal his alcohol and cologne. I ended up drunk and high. So I look at my phone and the boy sent a text saying he would be in at 9:30... it was 9:27. So I walked down to the train station drunk and high to pick him up.

We got back to my place and I just had this really bad feeling. I felt like he was lying to me, I was uncomfortable, I just didn't want him there. I had that feeling like something bad was going to happen. So to make it go away, I kept drinking... I text my ex and asked him to keep his phone nearby that night in case I called.

Long story short, I more or less kicked him out. I offered to walk him to the train but he wouldn't let me. He left here around 11:30pm and got home at like 7am. Whoops. Dick move. I know.

He text me when he got home and then he said "have a good day", which I'm taking more as a "fuck you. have a good life." Anyway, I tried to say sorry that night but he was pissed off. I feel like I should send him a text and apologize again but I also feel like I should just let it go and just forget about him.

I think I was just scared.

I dunno what to do.


I did text him a half asleep"sorry" and I also was just talking to S and told him about that night... he said that it's scary and I'm too impulsive =(

1 comment:

  1. Hmm, well you I'm sorry you felt scared. I think that may have been a good thing to have him leave. If you think he's using you, then maybe this is for the best. You shouldn't be the go to girl for sex. You should be in a relationship where the person actually wants to spend time with you outside of the bed. You deserve so much more than that user. Don't stress it.