I really fucking hate my life...

Like- today had the potential to be a good day... but because I have no friends I ended up sitting at home all day with absolutly nothing to do... just wasting the hours away, as I have so many times before. And now I'm like, about to fucking cry cause I'm all depressed and hate everything.


And it's times like these when I really start tearing my body apart...
- my eyebrows suck
- I'm not tan enough
- my stomach isn't flat enough
- my hips are too wide
- there too much everything on my legs
- my skin isn't clear enough
- my eyes are retarded
- my hairs a fucking mess
- my nails are uneven
- my arms jiggle
- that damn freckle on my hand
-my jawline isn't defined enough
- i have an ass... and way too much of it


The list goes on and on...


I just unfriended J on facebook again. I'm sick and tired of this fucking BULLSHIT. Like, you have NO IDEA how pissed off I am right now... and maybe I'm not... maybe I'm just upset... but when I'm upset I get pissed cause that's just easier. Whatever. She's like the one person I talk to everyday. She's the one person I hang out with when I'm home.

But then she goes and pulls this shit. Yeah- not okay...

In case you didn't see, this is our last conversation...

Me: You know, if you have a problem with me for some reason... I'd really love to know.J: No I don't have anything against you, last convo we had ended on good terms. I just have a lot of personal stuff going on and I know you do as well so I thought it would be best if we gave each other some space.
Me: Well I don't need space, I need friends.
J: It's good that you're reaching out but I do know you have other people to talk to and I think I may need some space. I don't think we would be getting along all that well right now with our own issues going on.
Me: It's not about having someone to talk to, I don't need someone to talk to. It's about having someone who's there. But if you can't do that then fine.
J: I'm sorry I don't think I can detach like that. I don't wanna bother you with my stuff and I always have all-or-nothing thinking. I feel guilty every time I reach out to someone, esp. you cause I know you have stuff going on. Hence the space.
Okay? Cool. Well, I'm done now.
Bye.