I have never been more ashamed of cutting than I am right now. I can't believe myself. It had been one month... and now FAT will forever be in my leg. I'll see what I can do with Neosporin and scar therapy gels but I see it every time I look down. And I'm not sore at all from dancing but I can feel the cuts which may affect my dancing today... I'll try not to let it.
I have therapy today... I haven't told him about cutting in the past. And I don't know if I'm ready to because it's the first time I'm going back. I don't know if I ever will- it's not something I can admit out loud really. I did make myself have a muffin for breakfast this morning which I wasn't planning on doing.
I had a very hard time sleeping last night... it was too hot then too cold then too hot. I dunno. But I woke up to birds instead of my alarm... that's cool I guess.
I don't want to say I regret cutting last night because I try to live my life with no regrets and I don't want to be that person that regrets everything in life- but I do. I regret it. I wish I hadn't done it. I'm so unbelievably disappointed in myself right now.