Monday, September 12, 2011


Ais- you are NOT a shit friend <3 I love you!!

So... I'm not going to say much right now... I'll just say that yesterday was hard. For all of my ABers, you may or may not have read my thread (I marked it as triggering so don't read it just to read it).

It was just the first time I was feeling how 9/11 affected me emotionally I guess.

I had another attempted purge, which hasn't happened in a long time... but again, it was attempted. I end up doing nothing more than gagging myself and spitting a lot... which then makes me feel like a failure because I can't even purge right.

I was very lonely last night which was not helping the situation... I needed to get out but there was no one I could go out with... and for once it wasn't because of food (well, I guess it never really is... kind of... but I knew what the real issue was)... and I had no one to be there for me. As usual. I guess this is why I've turned to the coping mechanisms I use. They prefer isolation. I'm just allowing myself to fit into the little niche this world has made for me.

And I don't feel like I'm isolating myself at this point. I really feel like the world is isolating me...

It's fine though.


So I'm laying on my stomach on my bed right now, and it's really bothering my ribs... fuck...


  1. I'm very familiar with loneliness. Some times i feel so lonely i cry. I feel forgotten, abandoned, and unwanted. Just push through it.

  2. Love you,
    U are better off not being able to purge, I feel like that often, in all the years ive had anorexia Ive not purged even though I have half tried, and ppl always tell me its good Ive not gone down that road so I guess we should believe that
    I dont get Why your ribs hurt sweetie?

    I know how u feel, I feel lonely all the time, but kind of like that its like whatever, ...but if u ever need me PLEASE INbox and ill get back to it, and I AM gettin bak to my fb msgs soon,

    Love u loads,

  3. And Ive not seen your forum on ab :/ Link it me if u ant sweets, or Ill find it?
    Love u,