I don't even know where to start- I don't want to go into details right now. I don't want to bring them back up. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you the reasons why.
But I wasn't really eating so I made myself have a little something.... then I attempted to purge.... as always, I failed. Feeling like a failure I them proceeded to carve the word FAT into my leg. I shouldn't say carve, really. It wasn't that deep at all. But regardless, it wouldn't stop bleeding... after about 5 minutes though I got tired of seeing my grotesque leg and threw on a pair of sweats. There is blood on my shirt, through my sweats, and I think some on the sink....
I'm such a fucking failure. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me... I thought things were going so well.
I guess not.
Maybe I'll just be like this forever.
Aw sweetheart keep your head up. There is always a good day among the many bad. <3 stay strong and be safe.
ReplyDelete