Thursday, September 8, 2011


I'm on my new computer. I'm also throwing a bitch fit. I fucking hate iTunes. FUCK! Stop autocorrecting me!! Ugh! I hate this right now... my music is THE MOST important thing on my laptop and of course iTunes is retarded and I can't get it over and then I loose my playlists and then I'm missing songs and then I have extra songs that have long been deleted and then I have to go through and uncheck all of the shit that doesn't fit on my iPod cause I have so damn much and then I have to go through and rename like 85% of the files and it just stresses me out to no end!

So I have zero music on here- we tried to do the thing where you consolidate your library (which hopefully gets all my music... I mean I have stuff that is friends' music that they sent to me via email and I just downloaded it and mixes that I've made). But anyway, there isn't enough space on my old laptop to even do that because it has to copy all of your music files and my music takes up most of the space to begin with.

And it's way to fucking cold in this house. I swear, I'm wrapped in a blanket and even the blanket is cold. I'm shivering so much it fucking hurts. 

Ugh, so last thing about the computer... who has a mac? Why can't I hold down a key and type the letter like 500 times? I don't want a fucking spanish "A", I want to be fucking obnoxious! How do I change that?

Okay... so I am now wrapped in a blanket in the garage with the door wide open because it is way to fucking cold. My dad knows it to but no one can touch the thermostat. God forbid.

Oh... and the best part of all of this- I had a really good day today... I had some major breakthroughs in how I'm thinking and viewing the world and people and I'm going to choreograph a dance with this amazing concept which I wanted to tell you guys about... but I just can't do that right now. I can't get into that space, I am in the total opposite side of thinking right now. I really wish I had gotten some of that into words while it was still fresh.

So yesterday I had like 500 calories, if that.
Today I had my usual breakfast, a fiber one bar, some grapes, turkey chili, and a marshmallow... not in that order really though... but whatever.

Today is 16 days no cutting... we'll see if I calm down some before I head upstairs... I think i already have... i was pulling my hair out a little earlier (like, literally, I pull my hair).

I'll try to spend the morning getting back into that juicy, yummy, creative place I was in this morning tomorrow morning BEFORE I start diving into all this computer nonsense. It's not like I have anything else to do or like I have any friends at all.

Oh... but I do have to bring my car in to the shop in the morning. Fuck.
I'll see what I can do... 

This is really long, I'm sorry... I'm just venting about everything and nothing, as usual. I just want my fucking music and I'll be happy. I think...

Well... I guess I'm off now to do other nonsense things... or maybe sleep? Ehh... whatever.

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