Quick Update

I need to be getting to bed so I'll try to keep this short.

Haha... short? Yeah right...

Okay so first off, I'm super sore and my hips are VERY bruised because I spent from 730-9 and then 12-1230 working on and rehearsing my solo (which I now have about 1:15 of). I sucked ass today. I was really shaky today... which happens. Hopefully it was just today though. I know I've been getting super light headed like, a lot, recently so... yeah.


Umm... my calorie intake has been pretty low. Every other day I have a little more... but it's still low. Which makes me happy. It's unhealthy, I know... ughhh!


Examples:
One day I had a special K protein snack bar and a bit of coffee... then about half a drink (cranberry and vodka... light cranberry).
Another day I had a bowl of cereal some coffee and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (I use light whole wheat).
Another day I had a special K protein snack bar and a bit of coffee... then that night I had to force myself to get a vanilla light n fit yogurt with some light granola in it.


So... yeah. The off days were a little more. I would have an actual dinner or I dunno... just SOMETHING else...


And I've been light on the fat burners. Only 2-4 a day and ex-lax max strength (just one) only on the off days where I ate a little more. I should be taking one now but it's late-ish and I have to be on my way to work early so I can't risk having to take my time in the morning.

I attempted some clothes shopping yesterday. Got one tank top and one dress. I can not wear either yet. I need heels and a short sleeve something to go over top. Even short sleeves are new to me and I'm still not very comfortable in them so tank top?? HELL NO!

I need to get to a gym or some shit. The downside of being home I guess...


And, I think that's it for now.


Haven't heard from the boy since the second time he called. I successfully avoided calling him twice while my parents were on vacation and I had the house to myself. I really do kinda wanna see him... but I'm super nervous about it. I dunno why. All we do is have sex... and that's all I really want right now. 


Or is it? I dunno. I think the reason... I just... I guess I feel like... no one else is ever gonna wanna sleep with me. And he does and has... so at least I can temporarily feel like... I dunno. I'm gonna stop now. Don't wanna think about it.


Anyway, goodnight <3

My new life motto. Totally putting this everywhere :)